I wish I can runaway

Countdown+ing when I will sick. I need a good rest. Almost 2 weeks I didn't sleep well. Perhaps, I should go for a walk during raining time. Then, I can make myself sick and lay on the bed. Sleep sleep sleep and won't have extra stamina to think of something else. I wish I can runaway but I can't. I trapped again. Yet, I'm not dare to continue anymore. Should I be selfish and let go?